More Keyhole Thoughts, and Dreams

After making the notes on my thoughts of Nyarlathotep as a keyhole, I decided to see what the ToA cards might show me about this. I also wanted to see what messages I might get from the cards about something I keep experiencing in the dreamworld. To explain what I noticed in these two readings and how it may shift some things for me, I should explain the dreams first.

Over the past week - ever since the ritual I participated in a week ago - I have had several experiences while asleep of spending time with someone I can't see. I can't see them because I don't look at them. I don't need to. It's like sitting next to a friend and looking in another direction while you talk. There is no doubt in my dreams that I know them. We are close, with a mental and emotional intimacy that is almost sensual or erotic just because of how very intimate it is. There isn't physical intimacy in the dreams, and no sexual tension. Nothing that feels like the intimacy is building until it would be expressed physically. It is all it needs to be as it already is. And I know the being I'm spending that time with is not anyone I know in the physical world. Their body changes from male-presenting to female-presenting, even within the same dream, but they are always "he". I don't know a name for him, though.

The first cards I drew were for looking at the idea of Nyarlathotep as keyhole.

My first thought was that it was interesting to see Card 40 as the first card because there is information from that card that was relevant to the ritual that started this.

It also struck me that the pictures seemed to be combining into one scene, and that the scene evolves over time rather than spreading across space. I read the words as I always do and felt it can support what I'm thinking, but there's no big sign of confirmation. The numbers don't bring anything else to mind, so I simply made a mental note to look up what the gematria shows about them later.

I drew these next three cards to look at who the being I'm meeting in the dreamworld may be.

I was immediately struck again by the pictures creating a scene! Again, I decided to look the numbers up later. The words didn't give me direct answers, but what they tell me may be pointing me toward what to pay attention to as this unfolds. It has meaning for me, just not clear information.

But the thing with the cards making scenes... The only issue was that, in both cases, the first two cards fit together so well and then the third card fits slightly awkwardly. Like the third card is a follow-up. It is part of the scene, but that goes back to what I said about the scene unfolding over time.

I wondered if the cards do this every time I draw three and I just haven't noticed before now. This is the importance of documenting things! There are pictures of cards in posts here, and even more that have never been shared. I looked back through all of them. In some cases, I still just see three individual cards. In the cases where I do see a scene, though, it is always the first two cards with the third card as a follow-up.

This may change how I read the cards at time. I don't see a reason to change my back and forth, criss-crossing way of reading the words. However, I read them as two sets of three phrases. That may not be what I always need to do. Three sets of two phrases may give better direction sometimes.

Why does it matter if the order isn't changing? Because it shifts my focus.

Neither reading gave me solid answers. Not yet, at least. I need to look up the numbers for more information. Even then, sometimes things don't make clear sense until more experience can be added to it.