Cards from the 23rd

I drew these cards from the ToA deck on the 23rd of this month. I talk about divination a lot on social media, and I sometimes share glimpses of my Yog-Sothothery work without explaining what it is. I wouldn't say I'm hiding it. Having a link to this blog publicly available wouldn't be the way to do that. I just keep it quieter than other things. I admit I do fret over what people think of me, but I'm not afraid of being weird online and I don't think that's what keeps me quieter about it. It's personal. There are other things I do that with, as well. These things are public, but I'm not really advertising them. It's personal. Quiet. 

So I didn't post the cards on social media, and I was going to do it here (that's why I took the picture), but the past few days have been hectic. Not all in good ways, not all in bad ways. Here are the cards now.

Reading them in that odd back-and-forth way that I do with this deck...

Eyes Forming And Unforming

A Tidal Wave Of Viewless Force

Hovering Black Winged Ones

Horror-Filled Suggestions

Mindless And Amorphous Dancers

A Descent Into Darkness 

That didn't sound encouraging. It still doesn't several days later. I knew I was going to write about this, so I admit I was tempted to draw three more cards and see if I got something that sounded better. The ToA oracle cards are still new-ish for me, but this is not my introduction to divination. I've been practicing different methods for over 25 years. I learned a long time ago not to redo a reading because I want a more pleasing message.

So I reminded myself that the messages of the Old Ones can seem cryptic and dark, but it can go several ways from there. Sometimes it's that Yog-Sothothery involves embracing things from a different perspective than how the original stories presented them. (Praising Father Dagon and Mother Hydra did not make one the protagonist in Lovecraft's tales.) And sometimes...well, dark and cryptic isn't always bad. Healing can be painful. I've found many times in my life that a path to a door needs to be cleared before the door can be opened.

It's tempting to say I was being too optimistic. The past few days have been hard and painful, and in ways the cards describe a little too well. I'm not seeing yet that it's clearing any paths or bringing in any healing. In fact, there are some very likely possibilities for things to get worse for a while.

A little voice inside of me chirps, "Sometimes it has to get worse so that it can get better!" Maybe that little voice is right.

And if it's not? Well, sometimes comfort can be found in simply having the pain recognized. There's support in being warned that things may be tough for a while.

A descent into darkness doesn't have to mean abandonment of hope.