Dreams and Songs

As part of my devotional practice, I honor and commune with three groups of Kindred Spirits - the Mighty and Beloved Dead, Nature Spirits, and the Shining Immortal Ones. What do they think of my work in Yog-Sothothery? I've been guided to it by the deity I am devoted to, and the reasons for that have been touched on. I can't say it's all clear to me, but it's also not a case of, "Do it because I told you to!" It was presented to me as, "This weaves into interests you already have and, if approached properly, here's a plan for it strengthening the work you're already doing." But this isn't really about focusing on and mapping out that plan. Maybe I'll get into that another time. This is about how one of the ways they communicate with me overlaps with work in Yog-Sothothery. 

I've talked briefly here before about how dreamwork is not one of my specialties. Not due to a lack of interest, but due to very weak ability. Or very strong limitations. Not exactly one of the strengths I want to celebrate, but there ya go. Dreamwork is actually vital to the flavor of Yog-Sothothery I'm engaging in, though. I suppose that may be one of the details in that plan for me being led to it. I've tried a variety of things on my own over the years, and I know my limitations come from areas that can't be lit up by a candle of, "You have to believe you can do it!" (Toxic positivity isn't one of my specialities either, and I like things this way.) Things are changing, though, as I engage in this work.

The more mundane aspects of this involve keeping a dream journal and doing some specific breathing exercises before I go to sleep. Inhale 4 seconds through the nose, hold breath 12 seconds (I'm at 5 and working my way up), exhale 8 seconds through the nose. Do that several times, but a specific number of times isn't necessary. The dream journal? I've tried that in the past and ended up with long stretches of, "Don't remember any dreams last night." Things are working differently so far this time. There are some other Not So Mundane influences in this, but the journal and breathing are the "take action" part of things.

What do the Kindreds have to do with this? Synchronicity is a big part of how they get my attention. Some of them aren't limited to doing it that way, but they will also make use of it if I need a dose of Pay Attention to What I'm Telling You. Sometimes it's a mix of Weird Stuff and Average Stuff, and sometimes it's all one or the other. What makes it stand out is an unlikely repeated pattern within a brief span of time. I mean, it's not going to do much to try to communicate through a couple of blue jays showing up in the yard in the afternoon in a place and time of year that blue jays are really common. And it's perfectly normal for an odd thing to happen every now and then, so one thing won't really send the message. Two odd things and three normal things that have a common theme and all happen within 48 hours? That's something to look into a little deeper.

It was just several weeks ago that I had three nights in a row of dreams about my native home. I live very far away from there now. Same country, but we're not talking "just moved a couple of hours away". Whole different region, climate, wildlife, and I had to check to find out whether or not I had changed timezones. The reasons I had to leave home, as well as the actual process of leaving, were very traumatic. It's been several years, and I've done a lot of healing, but I never lose the feeling that part of me was left behind in the soil, trees, and waters. After those three nights of dreams about home, a family member I keep distant contact with (we follow each other on social media, and that's pretty much it) posted a picture of a very beautiful and easily recognizable, for me, place back home. And the picture had the lyrics from a song, Matilda, which I've never heard and had not even heard of before.

You can let it go

You can throw a party full of everyone you know

And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love

You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

Now, this month. For the past four nights, three nights were dreams about healing and last night was a dream about home. When I woke up today, I felt pulled toward listening to some music (Not my normal way to start the day. I like quiet while I'm getting going.) and I heard a song I've never heard of before. This one was titled Run, and I understand the song is really telling the story of a man telling his romantic partner they need to leave, but... Well, it got to me on a different level.

Now I need you to go

Need you to fall away to something new

Need you to run

A lifetime away from what we do

Need you to go while your heart's still beating

Before the world makes you change and it leaves you weaker

Need you to run

From me

Something inside of me instantly understood the story the song is meant to tell, and also that Home wanted me to hear this. That Home has loved me as much as I have loved Home, so much so that Home wanted me to leave for my own wellness. Home could not keep me safe or healthy, and that meant Home had to let go of me.

I'm still processing this. It wasn't something I had to sort out, or that I had time to move the pieces around in my mind and convince myself it must be the picture. This is a common thing in how the Kindreds communicate with me...that second of Suddenly Knowing. It's not there, and then it's all there, as if it had been there all along. Sometimes, like when a pattern of synchronicity is involved, I get information that makes no sense or that I'm not even recognizing at the time as information. Then the understanding is suddenly there! Sometimes it's just sudden knowledge and understanding. It shakes me a bit every time. This time, this is a significant point in my personal healing. I'm even more shaken than usual. It's not a bad thing, though. It's not a bad thing at all.

I don't know where this is going to lead, but it may be the road I've been trying to find for a long time.